A Search for Love and Intimacy

If you ask me the two things a human soul is hungry and thirsty of, I will say: love and intimacy.

And those two basic and important needs of every human soul, love and intimacy can only be found from God and others.

When we drift away from God and others, we will be left to ourselves to look for love and intimacy. And that is an illusion the devil always wants us to believe, that we can find love and intimacy without God and others.

So, when a person wonders around, away from God and others, looking to satisfy his soul, he may find porn to be a good deal. He may think that porn will take care of his hungry and thirsty soul.

Some people think that porn addiction has something to do with a person’s strong sexual drive or desire. But porn addiction has little to nothing to do with one’s sex drive or desire because people who have low to no libido can be addicted to porn too. Porn is everything to do with a person’s heart. It is everything to do with a hurting soul which cries out for love and intimacy.

People who have been on a desert as war prisoners or immigrants express their suffering for water this way:

“After I had been out of water for so many days and about to die of thirst, I began to hallucinate. My brain started to play tricks on me. As I wandered to look for water, I began to an ocean that seemed very close to me. I became delusional to the point of running as fast as I could to reach to the ocean. The thing is the ocean had never existed. It was my brain which created it so that my eyes could see it as if the ocean existed hundred yards away from me.”

Metaphorically speaking, that is what porn does to a person. Porn addiction creates an illusion in the users’ mind that their soul will soon rest after they watch the next clip.

So they launch to porn like the man in the desert is determined to run with every ounce of his energy to get to that “imaginary” water he has been looking for. He runs and runs. Sadly, with every step he takes, he loses energy to take another one and dies of thirst because there is no water in the desert!

There is no love and intimacy in porn. There is no emotional attachment and comfort in porn; only emotional Sahara Desert where one can find only destitution, hurt, pain, despair, guilt, loneliness, abandonment, suicidal thoughts, so on so forth.

As one gives in to the temptation of porn, he runs with all his energy to get everything he can, to get to the “Promised Land” of emotional completeness and fullness. But soon he finds himself being “emptier and hungrier” than before. Why doesn’t he back off? He finds it hard to back off because the previous porn video created in him an illusion that there is a better porn video out there which can meet him where he is at.

But there is none! Only God can meet him up where he is at. In his pursuit of love and intimacy, he moves from one porn video to another until he gets to the most heinous ones.

If he had been exposed to these heinous porn videos at his first exposure to porn, he might have shun it away from him thinking how people with healthy and working brain and heart do such a crime to a human being, to a little girl as young as 6 or 8 years old but when he gets to it after many small steps, he himself will be okay to watch those heinous porn videos and be motivated even to subscribe to them because he is desensitized at that point. He sometimes tends to ask himself, “How did I get here?”

The fact of the matter is no one stays on one level of porn addiction for a long time. They move from one step to the next one, just like drug or alcohol addiction. For example, if drug addicts start out with OxyCotin 5mg, they have to keep increasing the dose to get the same effect they got the first time. Porn addiction is just like that. It doesn’t remain at one point.

The solution for porn addiction is an intimate and meaningful RELATIONSHIP with God and His people!

If you have been following Jesus Christ and has never been exposed to porn videos before, you are blessed and please RUN AWAY FROM IT as fast as you can! (1 Corinthians 6:18) If you are in it already, please seek help! (James 5:16)

If you are in porn addiction for a long time and you’ve never invited Jesus Christ to your life, first invite Him to your life. Invite Him to come to your heart first. I saw many people instantly being delivered from porn addiction the moment they invited Jesus Christ into their life. After you invite Jesus Christ to your heart, find Bible believing people who can show you how to read the Bible and follow Jesus Christ so that you will come out of porn addiction and lead a life that is praiseworthy before man and God. ///