“Mystery? With man’s sexual nature? Mystery? Men love sex and that is where it ends. There is no mystery with man’s sexual nature.”
I know, I once thought that too. Some researchers didn’t want to waste their time either with the issue that is “straightforward”, as they said.
So, since his puberty, a man gets beaten up with a message like, “You are here on this planet for one thing only and that is for you to have sex. All you need in life is sex. If you don’t get that, you are going to be less than a man or living being. So, do whatever you can to have sex.”
But we have to ask, “Is that true? Is that how God created man’s sexual nature?”
The Bible says (Genesis 4:1), “Adam knew his wife” (KJV).
This is not written this way because God was embarrassed to say, “Adam made love to his wife” or “Adam had sex with his wife”.
It was written and phrased that way because it expresses the truth plainly.
As I wrote in most of my articles, orgasm is not all about sex or sexual pleasure; it is one part of sexual pleasure.
For a man to have a sexual pleasure which is all around “COMPLETE”, he has to know his wife.
The mystery is then found in the “knowing” and most marital sexual problems reside there as well.
God created and fashioned a man’s sexual pleasure to be realized fully as he brings his wife to a sexual fulfillment.
His fulfillment is not in the orgasm but in the MAKING of his wife enjoy the whole act of sex.
Yes, that may sound a paradox to what we know to be true but it is true of every husband.
It’s been known that a man desires sex within a split second and be done with it in one or two minutes (on average; means some men need only 25 seconds to desire and be done with sex).
That is ridiculously short time but regardless a man goes across the land and ocean (figures of speech) and climbs a mountain (begs his wife) to get sex, knowing that he will be done within one or two minutes.
Why? Because his strong sexual desire is created in conjunction with a desire to sexually know and fulfill his wife, the person who is mysteriously created by God.
Notice! I didn’t say, “woman” but “HIS WIFE.” His God-given nature only works in a one man one woman marriage.
His sexual desire, apart from KNOWING AND FULFILLING HIS WIFE, is nothing but “orgasm”.
And don’t ever forget this: Orgasm is nothing but a biological result of a sexually stimulated body (whether it is stimulated by a human being or a thing). And when a man experiences orgasm without knowing and sexually fulfilling his own wife, he runs after “NOTHINGNESS”.
His sexual fulfillment only comes into COMPLETION only when he has sex in the way God meant it to be.
For Adam, his sexual fulfillment begins at the sight of Eve’s naked body and ends at the sight of her sexual fulfillment. As he slowly explores and learns his wife’s unique sexual nature, he becomes expert on approaching her sexually according to her unique sexual nature.
That means this kind of sexual fulfillment WILL NOT happen during a honeymoon season. That is why most “honeymooners” come back from their honeymoon with some kind of “blues”, which I call “Post-honeymoon-blues”. They go to the honeymoon expecting to experience all their sexual fantasies to find out, to their surprise, that they actually realized their nightmares.
Solution! Simple! They have to give each other time to know each other. Honeymoon is good but can’t be used as a measuring stick to predict how their future sexual life together is going to be.
If you find a couple who claims to have a wonderful sexual honeymoon, be assured on this that they are actually talking about their orgasmic experience and most often than not, it is the husband who had all those “Hooray” kind of experiences, not the wife. Why? A man gets fascinated by his orgasmic experience which is very easy for him to achieve but not for his wife.
If he continues to only concentrate on his orgasmic experience, he will soon find out that he is very far away from experiencing sexual pleasure God intended for him to have. And for him to have that fulfillment, he has to know his wife and bring her to a sexual fulfillment.
That is why the Bible said, “They SHALL become one”. “Become” implies a process. Let me come back to this another time. For now, let me stick with my topic.
It takes around 20 to 30 minutes for a wife to desire sex, and her orgasmic stage is much longer than her husband. (BTW, some wives need their husbands to work on them at least for one or two hours even for them to desire sex, and another BTW is this: the longer it takes the man to motivate his wife for sex, the better will be their sexual fulfillment. Take note!)
Her exceptionally long sexual journey is decorated by the sexual joy and fulfillment of her husband as he gazes at her. Why? He is the one who ushers her to the journey and he is the one to lead her through the way to bring her in to the “finishing line”. And that gives him some sense of “I’m THE MAN!” That is a perfect, pure and God given sense.
This picture is nicely depicted in a dance called Tango. The man leads the woman and she follows his lead. He again leads her to another direction, she follows. He fixes his eyes on her, to see her every move so that he catches her on his hand when she falls down to signal him of the end of the dance. And he holds her, holding her one hand up high, he signals the audience with his other hand to clap for her. Then he proudly bows down AS THE LEADER AND MAN OF THE DANCE; as the real designer and maker of that beautiful tango dance.
From far away, he looks as if he was clapping for himself, saying to himself, “I AM THE BOOM!”
Wow, it is glorious when a man finds his God given sexual nature. He gets fascinated how his sexual desires are able to be contained and being well taken care of by only one woman, his wife; a woman he explores, studies and knows.
Oh, how sad it is then to see young men of God being strayed away from the truth of their sexual nature! How agonizing it is to see them marching behind the world, looking for ways to quench their powerful sexual urges, yet to find themselves in a different sexual starvation regardless of finding and catching their sexual fantasies!
What is the message then?
Simple! My Beloved Brother, your sexual nature is “the mover and shaker” of this world. All business sectors are now using it to advertise their burgers or cars or car insurance policies. God never intends it to be like that.
Know that ONE bone is missing from you. And God will agree with your decision to take one woman as your wedded wife so that she will replace your missing bone. Remember, no bone is a perfect fit for your missing bone. But the woman you are taking as a wife shall become your perfect fit as you sharpen her inside beauty by your kind words and chip away her crooked and pointy behaviors and attitudes by your loving and romantic acts. You are not created to run after sex. You are created by God to run after God’s heart so that you know and find yourself in Him; so that you find and know that one woman who is going to be your perfect fit. ///