A Follow up update on the Match Making Service
I want to make something clear to those of you who are asking me about how the A4P match making service works.
First, this service is not only to those who are virgins. Phew! That is out of the way! The requirement doesn’t include that.
And some of you are asking me question like, “What if I don’t like the man I meet through A4P?” This question itself tells me that you didn’t understand what I’m set out to do.
Let me give you one example so that it will be clear to everyone:
Let’s say a man drops his info and we find a woman whose age is appropriate for his age. The process of matching begins there.
I or someone else will call the man and do the detail interview. The interview is set up in the way to get more information from the person in different ways. If, let’s say, a man is tripping, means, if he tends to mix up things, his honesty will be put into question.
We will contact his pastor to find out a little bit more about him (this is something you can’t find in most or all the matching services given online because it is against the person’s personal and private life. Well, with A4P, a person has to be willing to uncover his life or can’t be considered a candidate for this service). Then if we are happy with what we hear about him, we ask him to send us his recent picture.
Then we will do the same interview with the girl who we thought is a good match. If we are satisfied, we ask her to send us her picture.
When we are satisfied with the basic information we gather, we send the man’s picture to the woman. We will also send her picture to him.
When we receive a “go ahead” message from both of them, we send the girl’s phone number to the man. Yes, the man asks the girl out, not us.
And we will be out of the picture.
So, A4P is like a connection point; not a destiny. I don’t set up anything for them to get married; instead I and the people who are working with me will set up a safe environment for the couple to know each other very well.
And some people ask me why I want to start this kind of service. Well, the three most important driving forces for me to start up this service are the following:
First, knowing what I now know about marriage and being involved in many marital conflicts, fights and even divorce cases, I came to a realization that what has been transpired between the couples before they got married marks the rest of their married life. I amazingly found this to be true in many marriages.
The number one cause for many marriages to fall apart is the fact that, very sadly, the woman decided to marry the man whom she had little or no knowledge about or his background. When he said he was a pastor, she took that information as an absolute truth to later found out that the man had never been in a church before, even once.
Rarely a man decides to marry a woman he has no information about. If it ever happens, it happens in the long distance relationships.
Well, to make that kind of stories as a story of the past, I decided to start this ministry and make having a reference as one of the requirements for a person to apply to the service. That being said, though, the man and the woman are the sole responsible parties to do further study on each other to reach to a decision to get married.
The second most important issue which is a driving force for me to start this service is this: When women think of getting married before they turn 30, 40 or even 50 years old, the man wants to hang out with them for the next four years. That is a very frustrating reality for many Christian women. Men usually don’t care about the advancement of their age while women rightly so care a lot about their age. The thing is there are genuine men out there who are ready to get married.
So, A4P will bridge that by creating an environment for those men and women who want to get married to meet. Yes, you may ask, “so, is everyone who signs up for A4P match making service the person who wants to get married?” And the answer is: “CORRECT!”.
Through interview and reference info, if we find a slightest doubt that a man or woman is not ready for marriage, we encourage them to pray about it and come back to us when he/she is ready to get married.
And the third issue which motivated me to start this service is this: Most women are becoming victims of the result of “unequally yoked” marriages. Some women who are married to unbelieving men say to me: “Since he was not addicted to anything and because he didn’t force me to have sex before marriage, I thought it was okay for me to marry him. Now I found out that that is not the only issue. My husband has no business with faith nor the love of Jesus. He can’t lead me nor my kids.”
Some said to me; “I slept with him before marriage. He took my virginity and we continued having sex. So, I thought I was better of marrying him than another man. Now my life is nothing but hell.”
I really don’t know how I can stress this point.
A BELIEVER CAN’T MARRY AN UNBELIEVER. This is not a law; this is LIFE! You see, when we see the Word of God as law, it is very hard for us to listen to it because law is bondage. The law of God through Christ is not bondage; it is LIFE. God said don’t get yoked with an unbeliever because it is dangerous for us (2 Corinthians 6:14). God will never, ever say “no” to something which is good for us.
Please, if you are single, please don’t marry an unbeliever. NO EXCEPTIONAL CASE! Some say, “I will divorce him if he is not going to be as nice as he is now.” Beloved, divorce won’t solve a problem. Divorce destroys life; it doesn’t make anybody’s life any better. And divorce doesn’t give a brand new life to anyone.
Some women decided to marry an unbelieving man (who had a perfect church attendance record) because they thought that he was a genuine believer.
Most often than not, women are deciding to marry an unbelieving man because men who are believers are not asking them for marriage. While they wait for a Christian man to ask them, they turn 35, 38 or even 45 years old. So, they literally force themselves to marrying an unbeliever knowing that the Word of God says no to. Some say, “I want to have kids before my dad passes away.”
The thing is there are genuine Christian men out there who want to pursue a Christian woman; men who want to ask a woman for marriage. And there are innocent and genuine Christian girls out there waiting for that lucky man to come to their life but for one reason or another, these two people’s path don’t seem to meet.
Well, A4P will bridge that through match making service.
If I or the people who work with me find a man or a woman to be an unbeliever (people who tend to say, “I like the song here and I like the service there” kind of thing), we will stop the process immediately and let them know why we can’t go any further with the process.
With the help of God, my goal is this: To make A4P a safe connection center for those single people who are genuine, sincere and serious about their Christian life and want to take marriage seriously.
I hope this explains it all. If you still have question or suggestion, inbox me.
In Him, Missy.