Some of the Characteristics of a Sexually Attractive Wife (Contd.) – Part III
13. Flirt with him.
You desiring your husband sexually is something your husband wishes to see happening before he departs from this life. For example: If you let your husband read this, I bet you he will say; “Can you read that again, not for me but for you so that you get it!” Most husbands die before their wives decide to desire them sexually. Don’t make your man to be one of these men. Most often than not, most wives think that “initiating” or desiring love and sex is their husbands’ “exclusive role”. Beloved, the Bible doesn’t say that. Read Song of Solomon and you will find a wife desiring her man sexually. Unless there is abuse of any sort, you will win your husband’s heart with this one gesture of love alone. Flirt with your husband. He is the only man you can flirt with without sinning against God. NO OTHER MAN! Play with him and he will think that you are an angel, sent from heaven to be his alone.
14. Thank him for everything he does in the house.
know your husband wants to hear your “thank you” as he accomplishes what you told him to do? Don’t just say, “Oh, thank you”. No, you don’t say that to your husband. That is very boring. That is something you say for a stranger who is willing to hold the door for you. For your husband say something that can touch his soul: “Honey, you don’t know how I appreciate you for doing this. I know how much money we’re saving when you fix the faucet.” Or, “My LOVE, thank you for making our Saturday night this exiting.” You see, for him, receiving praise from the person who knows him in and out is like being taken to heaven to get a brand new loving heart and returned back here to stand in front of you. So, do it as often as you can. Thank and praise him for every little thing he does in the house and he has no choice expect being sexually attracted to you.
15. Save him from the details
Know that your husband’s brain is designed to handle few or one thing at a time. When you come home and tell him about your nasty boss, a friendly co-worker and how your kids are misbehaving, you will lose his attention. His brain will be on “a survival mode”. Do you know what that means? Well, he will totally tune you out. That is not nice, is it? It is not like he wants to ignore you or anything but his brain is protecting itself, instinctively. So, save him from the details. You can tell him detail of one issue every three days or so but if you do it daily, he will just lose interest. Find his “fantastic mood” and tell him the detail story of how you became a star of the month in your company. That is like talking to him “love”. He thinks that you are the most caring wife who is sexually attractive. You can’t beat that, can you? (BTW, that is another reason why men prefers watching TV than listening to their wives. Their brain wants to be in a survival mode since they are not expected to react or response. CLUE, CLUE, CLUE!).
16. Don’t gossip about him
Gossiping about a husband is one of the ways wives “tear” their marriages down with their own hands (Proverbs 14:1). There is no GOOD reason to gossip about your husband. If it is for counseling purpose, do it with love and respect in your heart. Even in a counseling room, choose your words wisely. Some people think that marriage counselors are angels. Precious, they are just like you. They are human beings. They lose interest to work with you when they hear you tearing your husband down because they know that if you did that to your better half, you will definitely do that to them, disregarding their hard work. So they lose interest to work with you through your difficult times. Of course, don’t lie about his porn addiction, adultery, abusive behavior or laziness if these present in his life. Oh, by all means please bring them all out in the open but only in the counseling room. Outside that, ask yourself this question before you gossip about your husband to someone: “Why am I telling this person about my husband?” And when you refuse to gossip about your husband, you will be more loving, gracious, forgiving and sexually attractive person to your husband. Notice I’m not talking about hiding your husband’s problems and make them all secrets. NO, I AM NOT SAYING THAT! Secret destroys person’s life and marriage! (I will deal with this some other time; like how to share our marital issues with our friends without crossing the boundary.)
17. Don’t be direct and straightforward with him EVERYDAY!
This is somehow tricky to do. Let’s say, you warned your husband twice not to do something and you actually predicted what the consequence could be. And BEHOLD, the outcome came as you predicted. Believe me in this; he thinks in his heart something like, “Exactly as she warned me. I wish I didn’t do it. I failed her.” At this time, take part in finding a solution to clean up the mess he did. Don’t try to tell him “sarcastically” that you are right and he is wrong. Husbands don’t usually understand “indirect” talk but in this kind of situations, their “X-Chromosome” is fully active and working well. That means they know exactly what you want to say. Instead, say to him, “My Love, you did what you can. Don’t worry about it.” Wow, he gives you 100 out of 100 for being an irresistibly sexually attractive wife.
18. Don’t ever preach to your husband.
Almost every wife tried this; I did my share too. So, don’t make this stupid mistake like others and me.
Instead of trying to preach to your man how to love God or how to pray, ask him about God and God’s Will and Word (genuinely ask him question).
Yeah, make him feel like a spiritual leader and head of his home. (When you do that you are actually wisely pushing him to the plate, to his call).
It does trick to his sexual attraction towards you. Remember, your husband gets more attracted to who you are than to what you look like (1 Peter 3:1-6). So, while you keep yourself pretty from the outside, give extra attention to your inside (which is your attitude and character towards him). When you do that, he starts giving more attention to your beautiful legs and the rest is “history”. Your beauty might convince him to marry you but can’t convince him to stay married with you unless you have that humble attitude. So, watch out!
19. Celebrate his spiritual maturity.
He may not stand behind the pulpit and preach about God for one hour. He may not pray for the whole night like you but
whenever you notice some sort of spiritual maturity, celebrate it. Make it a big deal. It is actually a big deal since his spiritual maturity brings health and peace to the whole household. You let him win in his home which makes him attracted to you sexually.
20. Don’t compare him with other men.
THIS IS A BIG ISSUE FOR YOUR HUSBAND. A man since he was one year old boy, he competes with other men, whoever they are. He is always in competition. It is like a tug-of-war. Sometimes he feels he wins and other times, he loses. And when you add another stress on his plate by comparing him with other men, by saying things like “I love Samuel by the way he carries himself. His self-confidence is all over him,” you are stabbing him at the back. When you two are in good mood, it is okay to compliment other men after you know for sure that you told him how proud you are of him. As long as he knows that he is YOUR HERO, he feels comfortable hearing you complimenting other men (he actually appreciates you for giving him a clue how to please you). Don’t ever compliment other men in thinking that your husband will get jealous and try to do his best. This is the worst technique to motivate your man to do things you want him to do. If he compares himself with other men and tells you something like “He is a very bright person”, agree with him if that is what you think of the person but make sure you tell him that he is better than the other man or he has other better qualities than the other man. If he is bright man, tell him that he is brighter than the other man. Show him his strength; capitalize on his strength so that he feels secured at his home. Make his home a place he knows for sure that he is “a hero”, “a winner” and a “conqueror” and you are the only one who can make that happen. Do you attract him sexually when you do that? You better believe it. He takes the bullet in his head loving and protecting you. Don’t lose sight of his nature. ///
P.S. Other points after number 20, you will find them in my live teachings.